Sometimes, amidst all the struggle, it is not half bad to slide into this truth too. With a snort and a shrug, I skip carefree on my path, at least for today, on this rainy afternoon. Carrot firmly in hand. Crunch crunch.
There is no spiritual carrot on a stick.
I have already achieved the ending,
Because I started there.
It’s not what I must do in this life,
But how I do it.
Remove pain
Remove pleasure
There is nothing I can do wrong
Except to be ignorant of the fact that I already have everything.
Promise myself never to fuss at my children? Critique myself? Judge another? What?
I would never do that.
Something else might do that,
But it would not be me.
It was just in my head,
Pretending to be me.
It was very loud, boasted authority
And I didn’t hear much else
So I thought it was me.
It told me to strive, to fight
It told me when I had done well
And when I had failed.
It told me I was spiritually incomplete,
But I was almost there.
It told me I was improving.
But all those improvements never happened
Because there was nothing to improve.
A false voice posing as me.
It wasn’t always there.
I must have tuned into it when I was little,
But I do remember a time without it, very very young.
There is nothing to do
Except what is right here in front of me,
Which needs to be done,
To have this experience.
I don’t have to grow
Or have visions
Or anything.
There isn’t even a journey.
A journey implies distance, duration, and an achievable goal or endpoint.
It’s not a journey,
It’s an awareness
And awareness comes with an experience.
Knowing the taste of strawberry ice cream
Requires the experience of eating it.
Knowing the feeling of the sand under my feet, the sun on my skin, the salty water on my face,
Requires the experience of walking on the beach, jumping into the ocean.
There is no journey in the ice cream or the beach,
Just an experience, providing an awareness.
I am not growing, I am not changing, I am experiencing.
It is more like my higher self is focusing its attention on experiencing a certain frequency of a certain density.
Am I ready for the next step?
There is no next step,
And yet, I am already there.
I will always be everything.
solrevel 
Feels so good to check in and see that you are almost there! (hahahaha) All of these moment to moment experiences seem so much more vivid when there is no next thing to be on to. Hearing such wisdom in your words has the immediate effect of a deep breath and loosening of any tight holding spots in my body – Thank you! (I can’t quite make out what is making its way into the sun – perhaps that is the point – we are all the dead center sun sons and daughters experiencing!) xo! m
Loosin it up baby! It’s just a ride, right?
Why is it that you are focused on that spiritual carrot on a stick, and I’m still focused on that spiritual strawberry ice cream? Is it because I’m only looking for the sweet comfort, and not necessarily what is the healthiest? All I can say is, I enjoy your blog, and love what I experience from it.
Love,
Miss Kitty
Oh Ms. Kitty! I would be happy to share throw out the carrot and dig into that ice cream. My blog is happy to have you visit!! Love you momma!
The rightness of the wrongness in the ignorance of the fact that I already have everything…
ok, and there are days that I know I knew something, but I can’t quite remember and put my finger on it.
How delightful the deeper peeks with and within A.
—My retired neighbor came to the door to drop off something for N as I was typing this. He told me he can’t stay as he is taking his wife to ballroom dance lessons through the extension of the local community college. May I just mention he already has not one still moment in his body as he is advancing with Parkinson’s disease. Such grace and courage in the midst of REAL physical challenge. I think I am going to let my thoughts about my extra lbs melt away and go dig into some Tillamook bean ice cream with fresh strawberries cut up on it.
I ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING and dancing legs (that still more or less obey a health filled rhythm) to boot.
-x.M
That’s it. I’m taking tomorrow off and posting this on the outside of the office door, along with a brief note indicating that I’ll be taking a brief sabbatical into the endless realm of discovering who we already are. (Like she said.)
Michael
I’ll meet you in Florida Michael. Don’t forget your surfboard. 😉
You nailed me with just the carrot on a stick I needed at the right exact moment!
I don’t even know how I found it. That was a very awesome stream of consciousness ending perfectly as it should. I loved it all. Awesome picture too!
Thank you!
It’s a year later then you wrote this but it was worth the wait!
Thank you Barry! I enjoy this blast from the past courtesy of you. I’m glad you enjoyed it, and I needed the reminder. I send you lots of strawberry ice cream, in lieu of carrots. 😉
Well that’s great! I am glad it was just as in flow for you as well.
I LOVE strawberry Ice cream! THANKS!!!!
As a matter of fact, the last batch had too many finely chopped strawberrys. They froze a little harder than the kids liked. I thought it was awesome myself.
My only concern with responding with such an affect from your piece was that if it had “purpose” (Oh that dreaded little necessity!) as if at the moment I needed to see that flow and a level of acceptance through clarity of a wide enough perspective you expressed, that if “purpose ” was attached then I feared I might negate the piece’s essence by giving it “purpose” Does that make sense?
Or is it that if you talk through anything enough, it all comes to a full circle? “Doh!”