Love Letter to the Sun

Element_Wolves_by_yuumei

I am here

In the belly of the beast

Pressed tight in all its guts

Squeezed by its intestines

With all the other tasty human morsels

Our limbs entangled, squirming

In the same process

Digestion

And the acid that burns

But I am not afraid of you, beast.

I am not afraid.

 

I wake up with a start

And here I am in the forest of my life.

I have chosen to dig deep.

To ask why. Why to all of it.

And the answers come.

Sometimes they taste of cool water to a parched throat.

And sometimes they taste of vomit.

But now, I realize with a shudder,

I am bored.

 

I bend down to touch a flower on my path.

But for all its beauty,

It is hollow.

The flowers and the humans and all that I can see with my eyes

Are hollow.

I am hollow.

Listen as I echo.

 

Yet there is a Me somewhere

Making this hollow illusion.

There is a Me that is not hollow.

 

I snarl and bare my fangs.

I smell blood.

The scent of the un-hollow.

I stalk my prey.

So patient, so vigilent.

I have cornered It now,

A lake lies behind It, and me in front.

And yet, in my final triumphant pounce,

I see my reflection in that lake.

I am no wolf.  I am a rabbit who has fooled herself.

 

You, my prey, are the wolf, and there is a rabbit here with You now,

And she is not afraid.

So grab me in your teeth.

Squeeze me and cruch my bones.

Taste every juice of my insides and spit me out if you must.

But know me.

Teach me.

Turn me wolf.

About Andrea

My name is Andrea. I grew up on the east coast of Florida, yet throughout my life have bopped around to live in Wisconsin, Mississippi, California, Georgia, and at the moment Massachusetts. I am a wife and mother of three, the youngest having Down Syndrome. I love dancing, laughing, contemplating, travelling, deep conversation and reading. I am a spiritual explorer. And really, all of this description is just superfluous. Really I am just as we all are; Divine conciousness discovering itself, playing the game of life.

4 responses to “Love Letter to the Sun

  1. Fantastic love letter!!! I think the music video was shot in my home State as well. Delightful sweetheart to honor on such an auspicious day. -x.M

    • Thanks M! I actually wrote this back in December, just as a scribbly emotional thing, and rediscovered it while cleaning out my desk. I found it quite intriguing, as I had forgotten that I had felt bit stuck and even bored. Wow. The Universe heard me loud and clear. No longer stuck or bored! My classes have advanced in a way, which is a good thing, but I do feel like the naive freshman in high school, the way 2014 has laid out events for me. However, a feisty side is a good side, and I don’t acknowledge it much, so I thought I would throw it out into the electronic ether for my mates to see.

      • I will let you in on a little secret of mine, just when I think I have got something nailed and am about to graduate the class (you know the mental state…seniorits wearing the “I have lettered in this jacket”, something will come in and knock me around a bit and back as feeling freshman I go! I so get you on this dynamic.

        Wisdom in motion with humility is a beautiful thing. We may be perpetual freshman (but like ALL who choose to grow) we are definitely joining our other human siblings who are in motion as Prom royalty :) . (I hope you did not hate hate hate high school and this example stirs the guts. High school itself for me happened during the time that I was busy mothering younger siblings so I missed most of the lessons that normal time flow gives. I got those in my 30’s when I could become the teenager that I missed during the calendar years. – x.M

  2. Somehow I missed this post, but I do know, after reading through twice, I am in the digestion process for absorbing this fully now! Dear rabbit, wolf, hunter and hunted – you ladle deeply into the well, unabashedly embracing the beautiful and the retched – finding the hollow of the superficial loveliness and rooting out the blessed aroma of the grotesque. Deep heart grateful for the likes of you! xo!!m

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